is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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