plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
