just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
