is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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