You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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