Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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