Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
