we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
