I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
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Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
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I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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