Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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