every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
