i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The feeling are messing with the penis
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
