Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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