Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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