I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
