who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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