good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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