I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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