once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
