if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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