it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize