last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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