Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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