fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
