is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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