Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
