Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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