okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
