I forgot how hot balto sounded
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
