I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize