I checked into jail on foursquare
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
