somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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