Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
time to smoke my breakfast
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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