she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
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Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
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Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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