i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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