Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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