It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
