i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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