I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
