What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Everyone says I win the strip club
Enjoy the penises
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
