I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize