Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize