I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
