I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
