I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i came on her dog
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
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