Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
