I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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