Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
