one two three fourrrrnication!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
