i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
