I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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