there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it's like iHOP with fire
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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