just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
