margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
