when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just google imaged poop.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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