your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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