Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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