You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
