dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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