I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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