How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
