SEEEEXXX PLEASE
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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