were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
